Tales of horror

Having a bad day? You're not alone! Read other decorators tales of horror here! Submit your own story and if we use it on the tradexpress website you could win £30 leisure vouchers!

Crash landing!

One time I was asked to work on the exterior of an elderly couple's house. In particular, I was painting the fascia boards.

Whilst coming down the ladder I lost my footing on one of the rungs in between where the top and bottom parts of the ladder connect - it's easily done on extension ladders. Sometimes the spaces between the rungs vary, so be careful! As you can imagine, with a bucket of paint in hand, I fell to the ground. Luckily, a plastic water barrel somewhat broke my fall and I came away with no more than a few bruises. Still, it was quite painful and a real shock to the system, and what's more, the paint which I spilt everywhere was definitely a big clean up task!

When I told the owners about what had happened, the only thing they were concerned with was whether I was ok - they even offered to help clean up the paint. In the end I had a joke with them about my Humpty Dumpty incident and I made sure I left the place looking better than it did before hand.

Andrew Stretton, Painter and Decorator, Northampton.

Redecoration, Redecoration

A few years ago, I was approached by a couple who wanted a brand new look for their bedroom. They asked me to carry out the work while they were on holiday - ideal really as it meant that they could come back and see the transformed room without the hassle of putting up with the gradual change.

As usual, I did all the remedial work then applied the green paint they had chosen. Happy with the high standard of work I had completed, I packed my things and prepared myself for my next project.

However, I didn't expect that my next project would be in the very same room. Back from their holiday, the owners gave me a call. It turned out that after seeing the finished result they disliked the colour and asked me to redecorate it again - this time in magnolia. So the next day I went back and this time the clients were much happier with the result.

Colour can add great personality to a room, but this incident proved that it's really important to get your choice right to avoid costly redecoration. Testing the product out on a small part of the room first is a good way to discover if a colour works well on the wall, and if you're going to be happy with your choice.

Nick Eagleton, Painter and decorator, Surrey

Double trouble

A few years ago, I was tasked with painting the outside of a house. To avoid accidentally getting paint on the owner's car, I asked him to move it out of the way before I started work. The client moved his car onto the street and I placed a protective plastic sheet around the house to stop any paint dripping onto the ground.

While I was busy getting on with the job, the owner went out to do some afternoon shopping. A couple of hours later, the owner came back but he must have completely forgotten what I'd asked him to do earlier, as he parked his car right next to the house.

You can only guess what happened next...

Understandably, the owner wasn't very happy when he saw his paint-spattered car, but thankfully all that was needed was some warm water and the paint came straight off.

Another disaster struck a couple of days later when my ladder slipped on the plastic ground sheet and with my paint brush in hand, I lost my footing and fell, landing inches from a cast iron boot scraper. One broken ankle, and one more long term reminder of an otherwise great job.

Andy Crichton, Hand-painted Kitchens and Furniture, Cheshire.

Get to grips with your paint and what you're painting on!

In April this year, I was tasked with painting both the exterior and interior of a magnificent, yet slightly tarnished, 1850's listed house in Newton Abbot, Devon. The couple who bought the Victorian property five years ago, wanted to bring the property back to its former glory. As you can imagine, the building needed plenty of careful work and repair.

A year or two before the new owners moved in, the outside of the house had been freshly painted. The property was coated with a lime render finish and a new, high-build paint had been applied. The thick paint had not only stopped the wall from breathing, but it had also failed to stick to the lime render. Consequently, during wet weather, water gradually became trapped behind the paint and during the colder months of the year, it was the frost that did the most damage. As a result, the paint began to blister and fall off the wall.

As the rendering was in such a bad state, we had to remove this too. In fact, we had to remove so much of the surface that we went all the way back to the structure of the 30 foot chimney!

I completed the job using a new lime render and the proper silicate paint. The moisture vapour permeability levels in the chosen product allow the walls to breath, unlike the high build paint that was used previously. The outside looks fantastic now and the owners are very pleased with the work I did - and their walls are now in a brilliant condition. So the moral of the story is, make sure you know what you're painting on and make sure you apply a suitable product.

Melvin Gibbs, Dulux Select Decorator, Devon.

... we weren't that far off

A couple of years ago, I was tasked with painting a shop front in Hollingwood, Oldham, to revamp its exterior.

We arrived at the shop bright and early, but the owner wasn't around to greet us. It's not unusual for clients of commercial properties to be absent when we begin, so we just got on with the job and started to apply a bright shade of red on the walls.

Half way through painting, the owner turned up and asked us what we were doing. He looked quite bewildered but we just explained that we thought it would be ok to begin.

Anyway, it turns out that the man had every reason to be confused - we had started to paint the wrong shop! We were supposed to be decorating the store next door.

Fortunately, the guy was really nice about it so we finished the work, for free of course, and moved on to the correct shop. For a job that should have taken a couple of hours, it ended up taking a lot longer than expected. However, we did have a good laugh about it!

Richard Hutton, a professional painter and decorator at 1 Finishing Touch, Hyde

Christopher Thwaites, professional painter and decorator, Keswick

In the early nineties I was doing a bit of work, decorating the house belonging to an elderly couple.

The gentleman had an obsession with Bonsai trees, and had completely covered his garden with hundreds of them. He was very protective over the trees, so when it came to painting the outside of the property I carefully moved each one out of the way of my ladder.

Of course, by the time I came back down again I had completely forgotten about them and was only reminded by the sound of a sudden crack under my feet. Looking down I saw one of the nicer looking Bonsais snapped into two pieces!

In a panic I ran to my van to get my grip fast glue. I hammered a nail right down the middle of the tree using the glue to stick the two pieces together. I then put some tape around the Bonsai until it dried.

Luckily, the owner never knew any different, although I can imagine the tree didn't live for very long after!

Ghost Ride with a Difference!

Back in the mid 90s I spent a good three or four years painting Brighton Pier from one side to the other. One morning, me and one of my good mates found ourselves working on the Ghost Train, painting some repaired boarding black.

Now usually the rides started at about 10am, and we always made sure we left with plenty of time to spare. This morning however, the ride owner was doing some trial runs with a few customers earlier in the morning, and had forgotten we were painting inside the ride.

It wasn't at all dangerous because we were painting in a section with plenty of room, but me and my mate heard the doors to the ride open, and thought we would have a bit of fun!

We saw the car coming round the corner with four women in it, and when they came close we jumped out in front of them. I've never seen people so scared - they jumped out and ran away screaming! Somehow the ride owner didn't find out, or maybe he found it funny. Either way I was working at the pier for a good few years after that.

Dave Elliot, a professional painter and decorator with Georgia Decorators.

...And then the customer chased me around the room!

About 15 or 20 years ago, I was doing a bit of work at a housing association in Rugby, stripping the room and wood chipping it.

When I arrived at the house, the lady at the door shouted at me for being 15 minutes late, so I knew it wasn't going to be a great day from the outset. But I got on with it, and as she went to get me a drink, I started to put the furniture into the middle of the room.

When she came back, she had suddenly changed her mood and actually started chatting me up. I wouldn't have minded this if it wasn't for the fact she was a lot older than me and didn't have a single tooth! So I tried to ignore her and put the chipping up as fast as possible.

However, she definitely didn't get the message, and at one point she actually started chasing me round the room, round the furniture and the bed, trying to get a 'hug'!

I was absolutely petrified, and finished the job in record time, taking a day to do what should have taken a good two or three, as I never wanted to go back. On my way out, the lady tried to grab one end of the wood chipping roll, so I tore it off and said she could keep it, and ran all the way to my van!

Nigel Daughty, a professional painter and decorator.

Getting a good 40 winks

Mark Lee, a professional painter and decorator at ML Decorators, Somerset.

I was recently redecorating most of a house in Buckinghamshire. When it came to the last bedroom - which belonged to our customer's teenage daughter - we needed to start work at 8am, which was earlier than usual, in order to get a cornice up. The customer told us that it was half term and her daughter didn't get up that early, so suggested we put a dust sheet over her and work around her while she slept.

As we went to put the dust sheet over the girl, we were laughing, and were sure she would wake up, but she didn't even bat an eyelid! Then at 12 o'clock she simply climbed out of bed, said 'good morning', and left the room. She seemed perfectly happy with the whole situation.

When we arrived to continue the job the next day, the teenager had actually already covered herself with the dust sheet in preparation, and again, didn't wake up as we went about our work. This continued for all of the three days we were there.

We love telling people all the funny stories we get here and this is definitely one of the funniest!

It's the glue that holds us all together…

Marc Bowden, Painter and Decorator with GM Contracting, Dudley

Years back now, I was working on an insurance job at a residential property. I was coming down a flight of stairs when I slipped and as my arm went down I felt it hit something.

I panicked when I realised I'd knocked a posh bone china ornament off a table and it was lying broken in two massive pieces on the floor. When it smashed it made a loud noise but luckily the owners of the property were nowhere to be seen. My first reaction was simply to stick it back together, so I quickly went and got the glue out of the van and got back to work.

I was quite pleased with the results because the crack wasn't too obvious, but I was definitely scared of going back the next day! I must have done a good job of it though because I haven't heard anything about it since.

Paint by kittens

On a recent job, I was preparing a customer's kitchen and dining room for it to be re-decorated. I had bought brand new sheets for all the floors and furniture and was in the process of covering all surfaces when the customer asked if I minded having her kitten in the same room while she popped out. Thinking nothing of it, I agreed.

As I began to paint, I saw the kitten take a diving leap with all four paws into the paint tray full of white emulsion. The kitten then jumped out and shook herself off, spraying paint all around the room. Then, to make matters worse, the kitten also managed to burrow herself beneath the sheets I had laid to avoid paint marks, giving a leather sofa and dining room table a lick of white emulsion. After the kitten then ran outside to the back garden, of course leaving a trail of white paw marks behind her, I managed to catch it.

Fearing the customer's return, I quickly cleaned everywhere and everything, including the kitten, which I dipped into a washing bowl with fairy liquid. The poor kitten looked like a drowned rat but everywhere else was spotless, even the garden! When the customer came back she didn't notice a thing, other than an odd looking wet kitten and a soapy washing up bowl. As I re-counted the story, the customer found it rather amusing and I was finally able to get back to the paint job.

I learnt a hard lesson, never work with animals or children! And as a rule, I now tend to not allow animals in the same room I am painting.

Adrian Rayfield, a professional decorator from Southend on Sea in Essex:

A few years back I was decorating an exterior of an old house. As it was the fi rst time the clients were having it decorated since they moved in, I knew it needed a lot of work as it hadn't been done for some years.

Some of the window sills were rotten and needed cutting back and replacing or repairing. It looked as if the previous owners had fi lled the rotten wood just to sell the property.

When the fi ller was removed I was amazed at what I had found. Beneath the filler the rot was far more extensive than first thought and the previous attempt of repairing the sills used, let's say, some unusual methods.

As I dug deeper removing large lumps of filler I came across a sight I haven't come across before as a decorating repair method. I started pulling out stones, dried grass and all manner of unusual things. The stones and dried grass were packed into the sill, which was about 2.5 inches thick to build up the void so filler could be applied over the top!

I must congratulate whoever did it in their creativity but wouldn't wood have been a better material to replace it with?

Thanks to Adrian Rayfield from Watlington, Oxfordshire for this tale of horror!

My worst working day ever!

It started when me and my mate went to decorate a ghostly house in the middle of nowhere. When we turned up, the house owners were at work so we let ourselves in and started to strip the paper. To this day I will never know what happened but suddenly the smoke alarm went off, the steamer blew up on the carpet and the main burglar alarm and phone started ringing! Within minutes we could hear the sirens of both the police and fire brigade making their way up the twisting lanes.

After we had convinced the services that we had been given permission to be in the house, my mate went to get his sandwiches out of the van only to find that the owners' greyhound had nicked our lunch! Starving, we decided to just carry on and get finished, so went into the bathroom to start sanding walls. When we thought things couldn't get any worse, my mate knocked a large mirror causing it to fall off and smash!

Not wanting to tempt the 7 years bad luck of breaking a mirror, we decided to clear up as best we could and get out of the cursed house! After throwing everything into the van all I could think about was getting out! I jumped in the driver's seat, put the van into reverse and shot back… straight into the side of the owners' car!

Thanks to Brendan Martin from Watlington, Oxfordshire for this tale of horror!

Thanks to Rod Evans from Llanrwst for this ripping tale:

As an apprentice I worked for a company that carried out refurbishment works to social housing. On one of the projects the company employed a guy who would keep the site tidy, prepare tea and make sure everything was put away and locked up every night.

Whilst doing this one evening, the guy noticed a ladder had been left out in the front garden. Rather than walk with it to the compound he decided to take it into the nearest property and store it inside overnight. Unfortunately the property he chose had just been decorated, not just with the usual emulsion paint but with wallpaper purchased by the tenant.

Nothing wrong with that you might think! But the following morning when the site manager was preparing to snag the property, he noticed that every strip of wallpaper right up the stairs had been torn! At that stage he could see that whoever had done it, had tried to push the torn bits together whilst the paste was still wet but in doing so had left big dirty hand prints. From the size of the hand prints it could only be one person and although he denied it everyone knew it was him!

You could write a book about him and his antics.

Thanks to Ed Roberts, proprietor of EJR International, for this issue's 'hair-raising' horror story:

A while back now, a pal and I were working on some stairs, which overlooked a large offi ce area on a big site. Below, a painter had just fi nished carefully glossing an orange door. He was standing with his back to the door cleaning his hands when a guy walked in carrying a roll of old brown felt carpet underlay.

After he'd walked through, the painter turned round and saw the hairiest brown and orange door ever!!! The look on the guy's face will stay with me forever! We laughed till it hurt, and people were coming from all over the site to see the masterpiece.

The poor painter took nearly two hours to clean the door off, and the carpet guy was never found! I bet he came back through for a peek!!

Gary Heninghem writes:

Two years ago I was working on the inside of a house and the lady was rather sensitive to the smells of all aspects of decorating. She used to go to work as I arrived, but she always left a fragranced candle burning to help with the odours.

I had been there for a few days, and this particular day, the candle smell was very strong when I arrived to work. Without thinking, stood above the candle and smelt it. The flame shot up my nose and burnt the hairs, and boy, did it make my eyes water.

Thank God I was alone because it was something that, had anybody been there, I would have been the laughing stock for a long time.

An experienced decorator from Surrey writes:

One year, quite some time ago, I was working for a particularly demanding and wealthy client, and had been set a challenging deadline of finishing a certain room by 2pm on Christmas Eve.

Everything was going well, I had just finished the last bit of gloss work completing the room on schedule. Then, tidying up, I put the lid on the gloss paint and put my foot on it to close it.

Imagine my horror when the side of the can split (not a Dulux Trade product I hasten to add!). Paint went everywhere, soaking through the dust sheet and all over the carpet. It was ruined.

I tried to contact the customer, but to no avail, and I spent Christmas Day and Boxing Day worrying. I didn't want to disturb the client's festive season - although mine was already ruined.

I eventually spoke to the customer to explain about the carpet I'd destroyed, however, he hadn't got a clue what I was talking about. It turned out that after I had finished decorating and gone home, a carpet fitter had replaced the carpet as scheduled - completely unknown to me.

Imagine my relief at this stroke of luck - even though my Christmas that year was a complete write off!"

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